For those who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, “Abba, Father!” The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified by him. - Romans 8:14–17
There was a time when I disliked the notion of everyone who believes in Jesus is automatically an adopted child of God. In our family, built by both adoption and birth, to say that everyone was adopted somehow made the adoption of our children less special. It’s similar to the notion of every child who played on any soccer team getting a trophy. If everyone is a winner, then no one is. No one stands out. If everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone is adopted, then there is nothing significant or special about our adopted children’s entrance into our family. I’ve since realized that I’d been looking at this idea the wrong way.
As an adoptive parent, I think I have a greater understanding of Romans 8:14–17 than many people. An adoptive parent understands the miracle of adoption. Building a family through adoption is certainly not easy. The paperwork, home studies, the intrusion into every aspect of our personal lives, the judgment of others, and the expense are all obstacles that must be conquered before a child can even enter a family. On this side of the adoption journey, I can honestly say that it was all worth it. While we were in the middle of the process, however, many times I wondered whether it would be. Always in the back of our minds we thought, “What if we went through all of this and still didn’t end up with a baby?” The emotional roller coaster of hope and despair is all part of the adoption process. By the time our baby was placed in our arms, we felt wrung out. But in that instant, we understood that, even though this way was more difficult than most young couples experience, this way, this process, this baby were all a gift from God.
Until I became a mother, I could not fathom how God loves us. Until I had an adopted child, I couldn’t imagine how someone could love a child born to someone else as much as one born of my body. Until I held my daughter in my arms, I feared that I wouldn’t feel like a real mother to an adopted child. Now, having known both the experience of adoption and birth, I know that my love for each of my children is the same, no matter how they came to be mine.
I’ll never forget the days of our children’s final adoptions. Bob and I had already loved our children as only a father and mother can. But on those days, when our children were given our names, when they became ours legally, we rejoiced. Final adoption day is much like being baptized. Through our baptism, we all become God’s adopted children. We are baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We become part of God’s family. We became, “heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.” Just as Bob and I chose to welcome a child not born to us into our family, God chooses to welcome us.
November is Adoption awareness month. This month not only gives us the opportunity to reflect on how adoption has touched us, it is also a time to remember all of those who wait for families, whether it is a child in need of parents or parents in search of a child. Adoption is always a choice. It is a choice that is difficult but worth it. To look into the face of my child and be able to say, “I chose you,” is the greatest honor. This month, maybe we should all reflect on what it means to be chosen, what it means to be a part of God’s family, and what it feels like when God and says, “I chose you.”
There was a time when I disliked the notion of everyone who believes in Jesus is automatically an adopted child of God. In our family, built by both adoption and birth, to say that everyone was adopted somehow made the adoption of our children less special. It’s similar to the notion of every child who played on any soccer team getting a trophy. If everyone is a winner, then no one is. No one stands out. If everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone is adopted, then there is nothing significant or special about our adopted children’s entrance into our family. I’ve since realized that I’d been looking at this idea the wrong way.
As an adoptive parent, I think I have a greater understanding of Romans 8:14–17 than many people. An adoptive parent understands the miracle of adoption. Building a family through adoption is certainly not easy. The paperwork, home studies, the intrusion into every aspect of our personal lives, the judgment of others, and the expense are all obstacles that must be conquered before a child can even enter a family. On this side of the adoption journey, I can honestly say that it was all worth it. While we were in the middle of the process, however, many times I wondered whether it would be. Always in the back of our minds we thought, “What if we went through all of this and still didn’t end up with a baby?” The emotional roller coaster of hope and despair is all part of the adoption process. By the time our baby was placed in our arms, we felt wrung out. But in that instant, we understood that, even though this way was more difficult than most young couples experience, this way, this process, this baby were all a gift from God.
Until I became a mother, I could not fathom how God loves us. Until I had an adopted child, I couldn’t imagine how someone could love a child born to someone else as much as one born of my body. Until I held my daughter in my arms, I feared that I wouldn’t feel like a real mother to an adopted child. Now, having known both the experience of adoption and birth, I know that my love for each of my children is the same, no matter how they came to be mine.
I’ll never forget the days of our children’s final adoptions. Bob and I had already loved our children as only a father and mother can. But on those days, when our children were given our names, when they became ours legally, we rejoiced. Final adoption day is much like being baptized. Through our baptism, we all become God’s adopted children. We are baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We become part of God’s family. We became, “heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ.” Just as Bob and I chose to welcome a child not born to us into our family, God chooses to welcome us.
November is Adoption awareness month. This month not only gives us the opportunity to reflect on how adoption has touched us, it is also a time to remember all of those who wait for families, whether it is a child in need of parents or parents in search of a child. Adoption is always a choice. It is a choice that is difficult but worth it. To look into the face of my child and be able to say, “I chose you,” is the greatest honor. This month, maybe we should all reflect on what it means to be chosen, what it means to be a part of God’s family, and what it feels like when God and says, “I chose you.”
Family Photos of the Perron Family
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