Spring Cleaning and Lent - By Kelsey Demers
Every year about this time, as winter begins to fade and spring seems more like a reality, I get so excited to dive into whatever spring cleaning projects I have. Whether it’s going through old clothes, airing out the house, or deep cleaning some forgotten space, there’s something so refreshing about getting rid of the old and unused and bringing life back to the tired. It’s like a new beginning, which is also how I look at the season of Lent. During this time of preparation for Easter, I’ve noticed that, much like my house that needs a little sprucing up and help preparing for the new season, so too does my life and outlook. A long winter can take its toll on a family. Being cooped up inside due to frigid temperatures and battling illnesses that take forever to work it’s way through a large family truly begin to wear every member of the family out and I know that as a wife and a mother, I need an outlook refresher as we begin to turn toward spring, and I’m looking to clean up my life in a few different ways.
1. Simplifying…where you can.
Look, I’ve read the book, I’ve held all my things, and no matter how much stuff I chuck I will still be a mom of four kids, and that means my home will always be filled with far too much stuff that I’m tripping over, clothes that aren’t perfectly folded in the dresser, and space on my counter that, no matter how hard I try, will always be the “catch-all.” But there are ways that I’m looking to simplify in my home that doesn’t involve just throwing everything out. This year we’ve started making the conscious effort to not over commit ourselves and stretch our family too far. If activities that the family is involved in start to feel like chores, then that is a good indicator that it’s something that you can scratch off. This season, for us, that was spring soccer. No sense dragging the family to the soccer fields twice a week to complain about how cold and rainy it is and how we wished we could be doing something else. This season, we’ll be doing just that, and it already feels amazing.
2. Comparing less.
It seems like it is impossible to tap into an app on our phone anymore without being deluged with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Social media can be a great way to connect and share our lives with one another, but sometimes, I find myself looking at these beautiful homes of other families and then disappointedly looking around at my imperfectly designed home where toys litter the floor yet again with not one fiddle leaf fig to be found. Or watching the stories of other moms who look like supermodels and not like they haven’t showered in four days and can’t remember the last time they wore jeans instead of yoga pants (does anyone really do yoga in them?). And you don’t have to scroll long before you are greeted with an article about the 98 things that you must be doing to be the best mother possible lest your kids grow up to be worthless underachievers.
Look, I’m so sleep deprived, I can barely remember what day it is let alone worry about some ridiculous list of things that someone else thinks I need to be doing to be the best mom possible. Your children need you. You don’t need to be wearing the perfect shade of lipstick or designer clothes. Your kids want you just the way you are. It’s far too easy to get caught up in comparing your life to the lives of others. We see the highpoint of their lives while living in the trenches of our own, and it’s hard not to wonder if you’re qualified to do this when you see someone else with kids who seem perfectly well behaved and prayerful in church, while yours are eating the tithing envelopes. So whether its the pulled together mom at dance or the perfect families online, no more comparing. Easier said than done, I know, but we’ve got to try. Much like we clean our windows in the spring, I want to try to clear away whatever might be clouding my vision from the life and the work we are doing raising these kids because the more we think we need to be like some other mom, the less time we spend being our kids’ mom, and that’s who they really want. Which brings me to the next thing…
3. Being present
Running a family is not an easy task. The list of to-dos is monotonous and never ending, and kids always need something that stops us from crossing off the thing we were working on which leads to about three more things getting added on. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try, there will always either be dishes in the sink or toys on the floor, or both if it’s a day that ends in “Y.” And while I like a clean home, I just don’t think my kids are going to look back on their childhood and remark about how fantastic it was that their home was spotless and how much they loved the time mom spent scrubbing the sink or tidying up their legos. Being present is maybe one of the most important things we can do for our children but the culture of “busy-ness” can take away from that. These years we have with our babies in our homes are short, and we don’t get the days back. So with that in mind, I want to make sure as we begin this next season that I remember to be truly present with my kids. Not sitting in the playroom scrolling on my phone or listening to a podcast while they play, (guilty!) but actually present. The cleaning can wait and the phone wont break if it’s set down every so often so that we can enjoy a little bit more of our life presently.
4. Taking time for yourself and your marriage
This one may seem a little strange after saying that I want to try to be present more, but making sure that we take time for ourselves as mothers, fathers, and spouses tends to take a backseat to the demands of parenting and family life. Making sure that you’re able to get time to yourself, be that a shower or an afternoon alone is so important, and I’m so terrible at it. Taking just a few hours for myself to leave the house allows me to come back with just a little bit more patience and attentiveness for my kids that might have been lacking before and that’s something everybody can benefit from.
More important still is taking the time to nurture our marriage. Parenting each day is the ultimate form of teamwork, but it doesn’t make up for time spent truly together as a couple. It can’t be said enough, dating your spouse is so important and while we can’t get out of the house for a typical date every time we’d like to, this season, we are making an even greater effort to get that time together, whether it’s out of the house like a typical date, or at home with some take-out and a board game.
Whether it’s washing your windows, clearing out the attic, or organizing the coat closet, there are an endless amount of things you can be doing to prepare your home for the new season. This spring I hope you may also feel encouraged to take an inward look and declutter anything in your lives or routine that may be holding your family back so that you can enjoy more of your time together.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go yell at my kids to pick up their legos.
Some things never change.
1. Simplifying…where you can.
Look, I’ve read the book, I’ve held all my things, and no matter how much stuff I chuck I will still be a mom of four kids, and that means my home will always be filled with far too much stuff that I’m tripping over, clothes that aren’t perfectly folded in the dresser, and space on my counter that, no matter how hard I try, will always be the “catch-all.” But there are ways that I’m looking to simplify in my home that doesn’t involve just throwing everything out. This year we’ve started making the conscious effort to not over commit ourselves and stretch our family too far. If activities that the family is involved in start to feel like chores, then that is a good indicator that it’s something that you can scratch off. This season, for us, that was spring soccer. No sense dragging the family to the soccer fields twice a week to complain about how cold and rainy it is and how we wished we could be doing something else. This season, we’ll be doing just that, and it already feels amazing.
2. Comparing less.
It seems like it is impossible to tap into an app on our phone anymore without being deluged with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Social media can be a great way to connect and share our lives with one another, but sometimes, I find myself looking at these beautiful homes of other families and then disappointedly looking around at my imperfectly designed home where toys litter the floor yet again with not one fiddle leaf fig to be found. Or watching the stories of other moms who look like supermodels and not like they haven’t showered in four days and can’t remember the last time they wore jeans instead of yoga pants (does anyone really do yoga in them?). And you don’t have to scroll long before you are greeted with an article about the 98 things that you must be doing to be the best mother possible lest your kids grow up to be worthless underachievers.
Look, I’m so sleep deprived, I can barely remember what day it is let alone worry about some ridiculous list of things that someone else thinks I need to be doing to be the best mom possible. Your children need you. You don’t need to be wearing the perfect shade of lipstick or designer clothes. Your kids want you just the way you are. It’s far too easy to get caught up in comparing your life to the lives of others. We see the highpoint of their lives while living in the trenches of our own, and it’s hard not to wonder if you’re qualified to do this when you see someone else with kids who seem perfectly well behaved and prayerful in church, while yours are eating the tithing envelopes. So whether its the pulled together mom at dance or the perfect families online, no more comparing. Easier said than done, I know, but we’ve got to try. Much like we clean our windows in the spring, I want to try to clear away whatever might be clouding my vision from the life and the work we are doing raising these kids because the more we think we need to be like some other mom, the less time we spend being our kids’ mom, and that’s who they really want. Which brings me to the next thing…
3. Being present
Running a family is not an easy task. The list of to-dos is monotonous and never ending, and kids always need something that stops us from crossing off the thing we were working on which leads to about three more things getting added on. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try, there will always either be dishes in the sink or toys on the floor, or both if it’s a day that ends in “Y.” And while I like a clean home, I just don’t think my kids are going to look back on their childhood and remark about how fantastic it was that their home was spotless and how much they loved the time mom spent scrubbing the sink or tidying up their legos. Being present is maybe one of the most important things we can do for our children but the culture of “busy-ness” can take away from that. These years we have with our babies in our homes are short, and we don’t get the days back. So with that in mind, I want to make sure as we begin this next season that I remember to be truly present with my kids. Not sitting in the playroom scrolling on my phone or listening to a podcast while they play, (guilty!) but actually present. The cleaning can wait and the phone wont break if it’s set down every so often so that we can enjoy a little bit more of our life presently.
4. Taking time for yourself and your marriage
This one may seem a little strange after saying that I want to try to be present more, but making sure that we take time for ourselves as mothers, fathers, and spouses tends to take a backseat to the demands of parenting and family life. Making sure that you’re able to get time to yourself, be that a shower or an afternoon alone is so important, and I’m so terrible at it. Taking just a few hours for myself to leave the house allows me to come back with just a little bit more patience and attentiveness for my kids that might have been lacking before and that’s something everybody can benefit from.
More important still is taking the time to nurture our marriage. Parenting each day is the ultimate form of teamwork, but it doesn’t make up for time spent truly together as a couple. It can’t be said enough, dating your spouse is so important and while we can’t get out of the house for a typical date every time we’d like to, this season, we are making an even greater effort to get that time together, whether it’s out of the house like a typical date, or at home with some take-out and a board game.
Whether it’s washing your windows, clearing out the attic, or organizing the coat closet, there are an endless amount of things you can be doing to prepare your home for the new season. This spring I hope you may also feel encouraged to take an inward look and declutter anything in your lives or routine that may be holding your family back so that you can enjoy more of your time together.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go yell at my kids to pick up their legos.
Some things never change.
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About Kelsey:
Kelsey Demers is a stay at home mom who lives in Iowa with her husband and their four kids. When they’re not running late for church they’re at home pretending not to hear the children fighting. You can find her on Instagram where she posts about all the chaos of raising four young children. |
